May 7, 2026 — 18 Lessons from 18 Extra Years
Take Two
No one should settle for a half-lived life.
This week, I celebrated a milestone I don't take lightly.
Eighteen years ago, I received a liver transplant that saved my life.
Fewer than half of transplant recipients make it this far. That reality is never far from my mind. Every day feels like borrowed time—and a gift.
Over these years, I've watched my kids grow up. I've shared life with Vicky, traveled across the country and around the world, collected wonderful experiences, and formed friendships with thoughtful, remarkable people.
But more than anything, I've paid attention.
Because when you know life is fragile, you stop assuming you have time—and start paying attention to the time you actually have.
Looking back, I wrote down 18 lessons—one for each extra year I've been given. Here are the ones that hit me hardest.
Perspective must be chosen daily. I thought surviving would permanently change how I saw the world. It didn't. The first time I got back behind the wheel in traffic, I realized perspective doesn't stick—it fades. You don't get to live off yesterday's gratitude. You have to choose it again, every morning.
Time is life in disguise. It's easy to lose hours to screens and distraction. But those hours aren't neutral—they are your life. As Bruce Lee said: "If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made of."
Think about death. It might be the most life-giving thing you do. Most people avoid the subject entirely. I think about it every day. Not morbidly, but mindfully—aware that I'm living in extra innings, and that I don't know how many I have left. That awareness makes me intentional.
My health history draws me there, but honestly? None of us is promised tomorrow. We're all in overtime—most people just don't choose to think about it.
What would change for you if you actually believed that?
There are 15 more lessons in the full article—on relationships, regret, kindness, worry, and why the simple moments are often the richest ones.
I end most days with a question from Mary Oliver: "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Eighteen extra years have taught me one thing above all else: life is not something to manage. It's something to live—intentionally and fully and beautifully.
Make it a masterpiece.
IDEAS WORTH THINKING ABOUT
On average, we hear around 30,000 words a day. That's roughly 11 million words a year.
Of the millions of words that washed over you last year, which ones do you actually remember?
Probably not the neutral ones.
Research in behavioral economics has long established that negative experiences hit harder than positive ones of equal size. Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky's landmark Prospect Theory put a number on it: the pain of a loss is psychologically about twice as powerful as the pleasure of an equivalent gain. Applied to word—a discouraging remark, a cutting criticism, an offhand insult—we feel the sting roughly twice as deeply as we feel the warmth of a compliment of the same weight. It's why one critical comment can linger for days after a dozen kind ones have already faded.
This isn't weakness. It's wiring.
But here's what that means practically: to simply stay even (emotionally, relationally, mentally) we need to hear approximately twice as many positive words as negative ones just to break even. Most of us aren't anywhere close to that ratio.
If you want to elevate your life—your marriage, your relationships, your mental health—start by elevating the words you hear. Be more intentional about the voices, the content, and the conversations you let in. And be more generous with the words you give to others.
Words aren't just words. At scale, they shape who we become.
THE EXTRAORDINARY LIFE LIBRARY
The Extraordinary Life Life Library is a section of my website where I highlight books that have shaped my thinking—on purpose, personal development, money, and living well. Several of the book recommendations include my top 10 takeaways and excerpts.
A book full of great insights and reminders is Hero on a Mission by Donald Miller.
BEFORE YOU GO
Three ideas in this week's newsletter—and at their core, they share a common idea.
The words we let in shape how we see the world. The books we read shape how we think about it. And the way we spend our days—our time, our attention, our conversations—shapes the life we actually live.
Eighteen years of borrowed time has taught me that none of it is accidental. The people who live well aren't just lucky. They're intentional.
I hope something this week gave you a reason to pause, to notice, or to choose a little more deliberately.
Stay inspired by the life you're living.
Kevin