Newsletter Archives
May 7, 2026 — 18 Lessons from 18 Extra Years
Eighteen years ago, a liver transplant saved my life. Fewer than half of recipients make it this far. Here are the lessons that hit me hardest — on time, perspective, and what it means to live intentionally.
Take Two
No one should settle for a half-lived life.
This week, I celebrated a milestone I don't take lightly.
Eighteen years ago, I received a liver transplant that saved my life.
Fewer than half of transplant recipients make it this far. That reality is never far from my mind. Every day feels like borrowed time—and a gift.
Over these years, I've watched my kids grow up. I've shared life with Vicky, traveled across the country and around the world, collected wonderful experiences, and formed friendships with thoughtful, remarkable people.
But more than anything, I've paid attention.
Because when you know life is fragile, you stop assuming you have time—and start paying attention to the time you actually have.
Looking back, I wrote down 18 lessons—one for each extra year I've been given. Here are the ones that hit me hardest.
Perspective must be chosen daily. I thought surviving would permanently change how I saw the world. It didn't. The first time I got back behind the wheel in traffic, I realized perspective doesn't stick—it fades. You don't get to live off yesterday's gratitude. You have to choose it again, every morning.
Time is life in disguise. It's easy to lose hours to screens and distraction. But those hours aren't neutral—they are your life. As Bruce Lee said: "If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made of."
Think about death. It might be the most life-giving thing you do. Most people avoid the subject entirely. I think about it every day. Not morbidly, but mindfully—aware that I'm living in extra innings, and that I don't know how many I have left. That awareness makes me intentional.
My health history draws me there, but honestly? None of us is promised tomorrow. We're all in overtime—most people just don't choose to think about it.
What would change for you if you actually believed that?
There are 15 more lessons in the full article—on relationships, regret, kindness, worry, and why the simple moments are often the richest ones.
I end most days with a question from Mary Oliver: "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Eighteen extra years have taught me one thing above all else: life is not something to manage. It's something to live—intentionally and fully and beautifully.
Make it a masterpiece.
IDEAS WORTH THINKING ABOUT
On average, we hear around 30,000 words a day. That's roughly 11 million words a year.
Of the millions of words that washed over you last year, which ones do you actually remember?
Probably not the neutral ones.
Research in behavioral economics has long established that negative experiences hit harder than positive ones of equal size. Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky's landmark Prospect Theory put a number on it: the pain of a loss is psychologically about twice as powerful as the pleasure of an equivalent gain. Applied to word—a discouraging remark, a cutting criticism, an offhand insult—we feel the sting roughly twice as deeply as we feel the warmth of a compliment of the same weight. It's why one critical comment can linger for days after a dozen kind ones have already faded.
This isn't weakness. It's wiring.
But here's what that means practically: to simply stay even (emotionally, relationally, mentally) we need to hear approximately twice as many positive words as negative ones just to break even. Most of us aren't anywhere close to that ratio.
If you want to elevate your life—your marriage, your relationships, your mental health—start by elevating the words you hear. Be more intentional about the voices, the content, and the conversations you let in. And be more generous with the words you give to others.
Words aren't just words. At scale, they shape who we become.
THE EXTRAORDINARY LIFE LIBRARY
The Extraordinary Life Life Library is a section of my website where I highlight books that have shaped my thinking—on purpose, personal development, money, and living well. Several of the book recommendations include my top 10 takeaways and excerpts.
A book full of great insights and reminders is Hero on a Mission by Donald Miller.
BEFORE YOU GO
Three ideas in this week's newsletter—and at their core, they share a common idea.
The words we let in shape how we see the world. The books we read shape how we think about it. And the way we spend our days—our time, our attention, our conversations—shapes the life we actually live.
Eighteen years of borrowed time has taught me that none of it is accidental. The people who live well aren't just lucky. They're intentional.
I hope something this week gave you a reason to pause, to notice, or to choose a little more deliberately.
Stay inspired by the life you're living.
Kevin
Dec 18, 2025 — Looking Back to Live Better
As the year comes to a close, reflection helps us turn experience into wisdom. In this issue, I explore the value of looking back—on our days, our moments, and the people who shaped them—and share a few reminders found on the streets of New York about beginning again, embracing pressure, and clearing the dust to see what matters most.
Take Two
For people who know there’s more to life and don’t want to miss it.
WORDS TO WONDER
"We do not learn from experience… we learn from reflecting on experience."
— John Dewey, philosopher and psychologist
"We don't remember days; we remember moments."
— Cesare Pavese, poet and novelist
"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
— Annie Dillard, poet and author
PERSPECTIVES TO PONDER
As the year comes to a close, I find it invaluable to pause and reflect on all that has filled it. Reflection has a way of quieting the noise and revealing what truly mattered—and what didn’t.
Looking back helps me notice patterns: whether I’ve been paying attention to what’s good or fixating on what’s wrong; whether I’ve lived reactively or intentionally; whether my days reflect the life I hope to be living. As Annie Dillard reminds us, our lives are simply the sum of our days—and how we choose to spend them matters.
One simple exercise I return to each year is this: set aside 20 or 30 quiet minutes and reflect on your favorite moments—and your least favorite ones. Naming them brings clarity. It becomes easier to schedule more of what energized you and to gently avoid what drained you in the year ahead.
Take time to reflect on the people you spent the most time with. Did those interactions leave you feeling encouraged or depleted? Did certain relationships bring out your best—or your worst? Awareness creates choice. And choice creates change.
As Cesare Pavese observed, we don’t remember days—we remember moments. What were your defining moments of 2025? The places you went. The experiences that stretched you. The challenges that taught you something important. Reflection turns experience into wisdom—and wisdom helps us move forward with greater intention and meaning.
Some people quickly jot down a list of New Year’s resolutions on January 1. Others skip reflection altogether. I prefer a slower approach. I take the entire month of January to reflect, reimagine, and review the systems and goals in my life—asking whether they truly support the way I want to live.
Socrates famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Reflection doesn’t have to be heavy or burdensome. Think of it as an invitation to relive the moments that made you smile, grow, and feel alive.
One of my favorite ways to begin is simple: scroll back to January in your photo reel and move forward, moment by moment. It’s a powerful reminder of just how much life you lived this year—and a beautiful way to appreciate it all.
I hope reflecting on 2025 brings gratitude for the moments that mattered—and clarity for how you want to live in the year ahead.
THREE REMINDERS FROM THE STREETS OF NYC
When I travel, I try to slow down enough to notice the details—the things you’d miss if you were rushing from one destination to the next. While walking through New York this week, three images caught my eye. Each felt like a reminder worth carrying home.
1. You Can Begin Again
“New York is the end of your past and place of rebirth.”
Many people come to New York to leave something behind and start over. A past version of themselves. A chapter that no longer fits.
The good news? You don’t have to move to New York to do that.
Any day can be a reset. Any moment can be a turning point. Starting fresh isn’t about geography—it’s about choice. We can all leave the past where it belongs and begin again, if we’re willing to decide that today is different.
2. Pressure Is a Privilege
Pressure only exists when something matters.
If no one expects anything of you, if nothing important is at stake, if no one is depending on you—there’s no pressure. But there’s also very little meaning.
Pressure can be uncomfortable, even heavy at times. But it’s also a reminder that you’re in the arena—engaged, responsible, alive—rather than standing safely on the sidelines. The weight you feel is often the cost of doing something that matters.
3. Wash the Dust Away
“Jazz washes away the dust of everyday life.”
Life gets messy. Repetition dulls our senses. Routines pile up, and before we know it, the wonder is covered in dust.
Sometimes we need to pause and clear it away.
For some, that might be music. For others, a deep conversation, time in nature, prayer, movement, or quiet solitude. Whatever does it for you, take a few moments to wash the dust away—so you can see clearly again the extraordinary things that are already happening all around you.
BEFORE YOU GO
I’ve spent a lot of time in New York. Vicky and I were married in Central Park, and we return every year.
This time, we arrived in fresh snow and 20-degree weather. That single change—snow—made everything feel different. Of all my years visiting New York, this one stood apart. Central Park—so familiar to us—had been transformed into a winter wonderland.
It was a simple but powerful reminder: sometimes one change can transform everything.
As you look ahead to 2026, consider one action—one habit, one decision, one shift in focus—that could quietly change the trajectory of your life. You don’t have to overhaul everything. You don’t need a long list of resolutions.
Sometimes, one intentional change is enough.
Stay inspired by the life you’re living,
Kevin